Why obstacles are the way to future success

Last week, my son’s team finished three soccer games in the group stages of a tournament with success and advanced at the top of their bracket to the quarter finals. Because they were at the top in terms of points, they were supposed to play one of the teams that didn’t fare so well in the group stages, but made it in as a wildcard. Unfortunately, due to some nuances, the teams had to be moved around and instead, they played a team that was also at the top. The most interesting thing was the reactions of everyone, myself included, when we found out this information. We immediately jumped to questioning how we could remove the obstacle instead of facing it. But what were we really fighting against? The feeling of fear that winning might not be as easy as we thought?

We do this in life all the time. Fighting our lack of motivation to exercise, thinking that if we can just get rid of it, we will be someone who enjoys exercising every day. Fighting our desire to eat junk food by throwing out everything in the pantry so we don’t have to feel the struggle of an urge. Fighting our thoughts of inadequacy at work, thinking if we can make them disappear, we will be confident in all situations. We even fight the overwhelm, thinking if we can get rid of it, we will feel in control of our work and family lives. 

But what if the obstacles are the way we grow?

If we face the team that’s hardest to beat and decide to believe in ourselves anyway, we learn how to manage our mind in the face of adversity.

If we exercise, even on the days we don’t want to, we learn to feel reluctant and still show up for our goals.

If we allow the junk food to exist in the pantry, without eating it, we learn to feel an urge without responding.

If we take action, even when we aren’t 100% confident, we teach ourselves to feel anything and still move forward.

And if the overwhelm exists, we learn to look inside to our inner wisdom to know our threshold and exercise agency to care for ourselves without seeking external validation. 

If obstacles didn’t exist, we would not grow. They are not meant to be deterrents or signs that you shouldn’t be exactly where you are. They are simply learning moments that pave the way to our future success.