Have you ever thought about how much weight of indecision you carry? From little things like what time you plan to leave work or whether a meeting is worth your time all the way to much broader topics like whether you want to stay in your career or retire early, all of these decisions can clutter up your brain. One day we decide yes, we do need to be in this meeting and the next day we are sitting in the meeting remembering all the things we should be doing instead and re-deciding whether or not the decision was a good one, as we are sitting there not paying attention to the meeting we are in.
Indecision is exhausting. So much, in fact, that “decision fatigue” is real. It’s caused by continually re-deciding something over and over. The interesting thing to me is how often we don’t even realize we are doing it. Last week, I had a client accept a job offer. It was everything she really wanted in terms of a promotion, salary increase, leadership responsibilities, and yet, when another opportunity came up that wasn’t even close to her goals, she spent days ruminating on it. She was unconsciously re-deciding over and over whether to accept the offer she’d already accepted and she was exhausted.
So why do we do this? Most of the time, it’s fear. Our brain tries to tell us there is a right or wrong decision and if we pick the wrong one, we will somehow suffer or it will take too much energy. You see, our brains are wired to take the easy road. It’s the motivational triad – seek pleasure, avoid pain, and conserve energy. When the other opportunity came up, her brain instantly went to the path of least resistance and zeroed in on the “comfortable” opportunity. The one that looked much like many of her other experiences, put her back in the place of supporting someone else’s goals and had her working with people she knew well. Saying “no” goes against everything our brain is wired to do, so we re-decide over and over until somehow the pain of saying “yes” becomes more unbearable than saying “no”.
The path to success comes in sticking to the original decision. It’s recognizing when our brain is trying to send us back into a cycle of indecision and instead, reminding ourselves that our decision is final. We should expect that our brain will follow that with a list of barriers, reasons it’s a bad idea and excuses. It’s when we make that a problem that the indecision cycle starts. So instead, just expect it. Stick to the decision and if necessary, start working through the barriers, one by one.
So what are you continuously re-deciding? Stop right now and simply commit to a decision.