Over the last ten years, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about why it’s so hard to be productive and work with ease. I grew up as someone achievement based. If I had a goal, I went after it. I managed high workloads and multiple projects with what felt like ease in comparison to today’s world and then technology took over. All of a sudden, there were things flying at me from every angle. Phone calls, emails, instant messages, text and slack. It’s like randomly my brain just short circuited and stopped because it all became way too much.
Have you ever consciously checked your stress level during the day and then really looked around to your surroundings? What I found is that I can feel completely overwhelmed and stressed, even when I’m at home by myself (plus the dog) with me being the only person to dictate what I need to be doing, simply because my phone is in my hand and notifications are going off on multiple apps, none of which has an ounce of importance. All because the running soundtrack in my head as all of this is happening is “I am going to miss something”. Because our brains are hardwired to keep us safe and alert. We are simply sitting in our office getting some basic work done and our brain thinks we are being stalked by predators every time an alert sounds. So instead of focusing on our work, it’s living in fear, trying to deliver a stress response convincing us to check every little sound. I am here to tell you, it’s not necessary. You are safe. You are not being stalked by predators. So in these moments where everything feels overwhelming and you are just exhausted, I want you to try a few things:
First, look up. Yes, stop everything you are doing and look up from your device. Notice your surroundings. How many colors do you see? Where are the walls and windows? Who is around you? Are you in any kind of real danger? What is real in this exact moment? Just the simple act of bringing yourself back to the present can immediately lower your stress level. Now tune everything out and intentionally pick one thing to focus on and do. Just one. Ignore everything else until it’s complete. If you find yourself drifting back to jumping around from one thing to another, leaving everything half done, keep bringing yourself back to the present and resetting.
Second, get in the habit of cleaning out your brain. Our brains have upwards of 60,000 thoughts per day, most of which are unconscious and skewed to the negative. Letting them just sit around is like the closet by the garage door where everyone throws their coats, shoes, bags and anything else that doesn’t otherwise have a place…eventually the door won’t close and you are forced to do something about it because everything has now landed in the hall. When we let all those thoughts just sift around in our brain, eventually it wears on us and everything just comes tumbling out, usually in partnership with intense and painful emotion. Create a daily habit of sifting through the thoughts and tossing those you don’t want to keep. Sit down with a journal each day, set a timer and simply write everything that’s on your mind. No judgement of yourself for what is in there, no filtering of the thoughts, and no editing. Just get all those freestanding thoughts out. Imagine how much better work will be when you enter each day with a clear mind.
Finally, stop resisting what is real. Let me explain that further. In an ideal world, work would be easy. Leaders would make decisions that make sense to us, people wouldn’t be difficult to deal with, priorities wouldn’t compete with each other and we’d always have the right amount of work for the hours we have available. I don’t know about you, but even the jobs I loved were never that easy. But our brain tells us it should be that way, constantly.
It shouldn’t be this hard.
I shouldn’t have to explain myself.
She should just pick a couple priorities for our team to work on.
Our brain wants to think we can control the universe and so it digs its heels in and resists what is real. But you can’t control an entire culture, other people’s brains or their actions.
By accepting the reality of work for what it is, you can release all the drama that your mind creates around these events. You simply look at the situation for what it is, with no meaning about yourself and no resistance to what is real. Work is challenging sometimes and enjoyable at others. People have questions and look for further explanation and you give it without making it mean something about yourself. Your boss will sign up for what you view as too many things and somehow the team will likely get it done because we typically underestimate what we are capable of.
One of the great ways to do this in the moment that you feel yourself tensing up is simply to ask “how can I surrender to this moment?” I honestly use that question all the time whether I’m in a stressful meeting where I find myself digging in to control the direction of the conversation or on the sidelines of a soccer game worried about my son getting hurt. Allowing reality to simply exist is a beautiful practice.
Which of these will you try? I would love to hear how it went.