How often do you find yourself dreading something at work?
Having a conversation with a poor performer or someone who is extremely negative
Finishing a project
Communicating bad news to your boss
It’s not unusual to have a number of things on your mental list that you dread doing because you find them unpleasant, so you avoid them instead. As you continue to put these things off, you will find yourself in what is called a Dread Cycle.
You plan to do the activity.
It comes time to do what you planned.
You make a decision to not do the activity.
You feel temporary relief, often followed by regret or remorse.
The activity goes back on your list.
You start the cycle over.
You think it’s the activity that causes you to feel dread, but DOING the activity is actually what stops the cycle. Problem is, when you are in the thick of it, it’s hard to see. Most of the time you aren’t even aware you are keeping yourself in a cycle until it’s down to the wire, you’re going to miss a deadline and you have no other choice than to take action and get out.
So if you are going to have to act anyway, why wait?
Problem is, your toddler brain is in the way. It’s telling you it’s safer where you are at by throwing in thoughts like:
Now isn’t a good time.
This other activity is more important.
I need to wait for … (insert perfect conditions that rarely exits)
The best way to stop the cycle is to get really familiar with the feeling of dread. Be aware of what it is, so when it does happen you can recognize it. How does it feel physically? What thought patterns come up?
When you notice it, don’t beat yourself up for feeling it or resist the feeling by trying to force it away, simply acknowledge the human pattern you are in.
Oh, I know what this feeling is…it’s dread. When I feel it, I know that my brain will try to avoid the activity. Now that I’m aware, I can stop the cycle and make a conscious choice instead.
Then ask yourself what choice will create success and remove you from the current dread cycle? What choice would you make if you were feeling determined right now?
Choose an answer with intention and make the choice that will create a result you desire.
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