Have you ever wondered why you can be rolling along, confidence at a 10 out of ten and then BAM! For no reason at all, it feels like you’ve been slammed by a Mack truck and your confidence is suddenly in the negative?
Sometimes, you can explain it. Maybe you got some negative feedback or a project isn’t going like you thought it would. Other times, it seems to be out of nowhere and you even start to wonder if it’s just a fluke, maybe you are experiencing a chemical imbalance?
First of all, nothing is wrong! This is all just a normal part of the human experience. Our rational brain is pushing forward, taking on life, growing into new directions and then all of a sudden, our monkey brain starts serving up danger signs. Its job is to seek pleasure, avoid pain and exert as little energy as possible in doing so. Of course, that means it’s going to start screaming “danger ahead, protect yourself” as soon as you start to feel even a little uncomfortable, as you are growing, and those danger signals are what causes your confidence to start its descent.
When this happens, it’s a great chance to do some exploration. Ask yourself what is standing in the way of you being a 10 out of 10 on the confidence scale in that moment?
This is where we uncover what our deeply held beliefs are. They are easily covered up on the days where you are rolling along just fine. But on the days where confidence is low and you are struggling to find the courage you need, that’s when you learn the most. Your answer to the above question will shed light on the irrational thoughts your monkey brain is producing, in order to keep you safe.
Once you uncover your thoughts, you can look at them objectively. Are they true? Do they even make sense? What if they weren’t true? What could be true instead?
Where many of us, myself included, can go awry in this process, is believing that because we have these thoughts, we must be someone who simply doesn’t have confidence. Like it’s a gift that was given to only a select few and we weren’t one of the chosen.
Confidence is a little like the scale. If you weigh yourself everyday for 10 days, the exact number will vary slightly. If you measure your confidence on a scale everyday, the exact number will vary. Just like the natural fluctuation in your weight doesn’t automatically assume your destiny, neither does the natural fluctuation in confidence. It’s simply part of the human experience.
So next time you find your confidence trending downward, take the time to check in and learn a little bit more about yourself.
Schedule your free Mini Session to talk about how you can deepen your work in order to uncover your deeply held beliefs and continue moving forward.