When you are caught up in the drama of managing someone’s performance, it can really seem complex. All of your emotions and judgements are calling the shots and you simply want a one-way ticket to a world where you no longer have to deal with the situation at hand. The more you evaluate it, the worse it seems to get and yet you can’t seem to articulate the problem in a way that helps either of you.
Fortunately, I’ve found two things that really help my clients cut through all of that and simply get to the task at hand.
First, move away from judgment and criticism, and activate your ability to see the person as perfectly human and worthy just as they are. Our brains try to trick us into thinking that we have to see the person as bad or unworthy of the position in order to take action on their performance. What if you could have compassion for their situation and curiosity about their behavior while still addressing their performance? It’s like we think that we can hate them into submission. Put that way, it doesn’t sound logical at all, yet that’s what our brains try to convince us we should do. Think of how much more productive the conversation would go if you were getting complaints about an employee biting everyone’s head off, and you led with questions like:
I have noticed you aren’t yourself lately, how are you doing right now?
What is challenging you right now and how can I help?
It doesn’t mean that you don’t end the conversation with your expectations going forward, but the energy of the conversation to get there will be completely different, and the solutions are much higher quality when it doesn’t start with a defensive employee. Shirzad Chamine, author of the book Positive Intelligence, calls this state “Blameless Discernment”. I see this as the ability to perceive the situation without adding fault. In this situation, maybe the person is struggling with something at home and feeling significant amounts of stress. When they feel stress, they tend to react quickly and not always consciously. They might have a harder time controlling their anger. There is no blame, it’s just math. Stress + Distraction = Outburst. Seems pretty human to me. By understanding, you can look at the situation together and create solutions toward reducing stress and increasing awareness.
The second thing that helps diagnose performance is understanding what you are addressing.
Does the employee know what to do but doesn’t want to? (Mindset)
Does the employee not know what to do but wants to learn? (Skillset)
Does the employee not know what to do and doesn’t want to? (Both)
My mentor, Kris Plachy, calls this Coaching Algebra. Skillset (How) + Mindset (Why) = Results (What)
Too many times we try to address a performance issue with a solution that doesn’t fit. Think of how much money the diet industry makes on trying to teach people “how” to eat and yet, most of the time, they know what to eat but they just don’t want to do it. You don’t want to address a mindset issue with reinforcing skills they already know and on the flip side, don’t want to coach for motivation when what they are really lacking is the knowledge of how to do a task. That’s why it’s so important to step back and determine where the issue stems from. Is it skillset, mindset or both?
By moving into blameless discernment to evaluate the situation and then determining what you are addressing (skillset, mindset or both), you can bring clarity to what is otherwise an emotional and ambiguous process.