When you think about leadership, who comes to your mind?
I was lucky enough to work with several amazing leaders early on in my career. Managers and executives that not only made it clear where we were going, they created environments where we had the necessary tools and resources to do the work, and they also kept a constant handle on where I was at personally. They not only asked what I needed, they listened to the answers and left me alone when I didn’t need them. They had a constant pulse on activity from afar, and sometimes they didn’t even ask, they simply observed and removed obstacles before I even realized they existed. Despite managing large organizations, they knew things without me telling them – which customers were constantly giving me kudos and which were giving me trouble, whether I was working too much overtime consistently or just pushing through a small bump in work. They empowered me to thrive and I truly believe I did my best work under their guidance, constantly pushing to increase my own comfort zone, enhance my skills and dream bigger than I ever would on my own.
This set the tone for my assumption of what all leaders would be like, until they weren’t. Many people are given a title that assumes they are a leader and choose not to accept the responsibility. They show up, demand performance from their staff and then go back to their corner office. Requests for resources or assistance go without response or they make themselves so inaccessible that they don’t even know what the organization needs in order to move forward. They simply rely on their staff to “get it done”, no matter what it takes, even when the lack of well-being starts to show in the form of grey, ash-colored faces, bags under the eyes and the inability to string together sentences. Instead of empowering their people, they reinforce the awareness of hierarchy through aggressive displays of authority, abuse of power for self-fulfillment and clear separation between those that are part of the inner circle and those that aren’t.
While the contrast between behaviors in these scenarios is apparent, what’s the difference? Aren’t both of these examples leaders?
This all became clear in recent weeks when one of my mentors, Kris Plachy, offered a definition for leadership that caused me to pause. The definition she gave is…a leader is someone who says “Yes, I accept the responsibility of moving people, organizations, resources, etc.. from here to there” AND “I also accept responsibility for the care and well-being of those who choose to join me”.
This is the difference that I couldn’t put my finger on, that invisible space between what makes some leaders great and what makes others difficult to work for, even and especially when, you really enjoy them as a human being. The leaders that stand out to me as most effective are the ones who consciously accepted the responsibility they were given (not just the title) and then worked to create an environment where those that chose to join them were able to do so, in full integrity.
I also love that Kris teaches you can not only be the leader of people or objects around you, you can lead yourself when you accept the responsibility of moving towards your own goals and dreams, while taking accountability for your self-care in the process.
Where in your life are you leading? Does this definition change the way you look at the way you choose to show up?