I grew up as a high achiever. Always pushing myself to do more and be more. Hoping that with each accomplishment I would find the confidence and reassurance I was seeking. That what I was doing was enough. But no matter what I did, none of the accomplishments in education, job titles, salary levels, etc.. were giving me the confidence I craved. At the same time all of this was unfolding, I was unconsciously filling my brain with negative self talk:
I don’t show up as polished as she does.
I never seem to catch up.
I hate networking.
I wasn’t meant to handle this type of pressure.
I had several mentors tell me “You just need to be more confident”. But what I learned with time, was that it wasn’t confidence I needed as much as it was a new narrator. I first realized this when discovering affirmations or positive, empowering mantras. I would write them down, sometimes 5-10 times per day and hope that it was enough to make them come true. And for a while, it did provide me some relief. But then, I realized it didn’t really change my behavior and the relief was fleeting. By the end of the day, my internal narrator was back to its usual dialogue. The affirmations simply didn’t break through the habits I had been creating for years.
Affirmations did open my mind to the possibility that I could change my thoughts and that by doing so, I might not feel so terrible. Continuing to fill my brain with such negativity did not have to be my only option.
What I discovered next was the concept of self talk. Self talk is similar to affirmations in the sense that it’s a way to give our subconscious mind direction. The difference is that while affirmations paint a spiritual and idealistic picture, self talk can be a more believable, even neutral narration of what’s to come. Once I became aware of my existing self talk and really started to pay attention, I was able to move myself off the negativity and start intentionally directing my self talk into statements or thoughts that could intentionally create where I wanted to be.
So why does any of this matter?
Because our brains believe what we tell it, so what we say to ourselves about matters. Our brain will go out and create our reality based on the words and beliefs we have stored in our subconscious mind.
By raising the level of my own self talk, I’ve been able to achieve every goal I’ve set in recent years. I’ve gotten in the best shape of my life, getting rid of the chronic fatigue and solving the emotional eating and drinking that I had engaged in for years. I left my well paying corporate career and started a rewarding coaching business that brings me constant fulfillment, while also maintaining my love for teaching fitness on the side. And I created a life where I have a rewarding career and am fully engaged in my kids’ lives, running carpools, helping with homework and most of all, being available to them when they need me most, because that’s what I decided I wanted my life to look like.
Now I get to teach women the powerful tools that I learned, to enable all this change, so they too can create what they want in life. I do this in a very personalized approach via 1:1 Coaching. If you are ready to make changes in your own life, I can help. Schedule your free consultation here.