We are constantly in the business of switching roles. We can go from Mom, to tech support, to carpool coordinator, to manager and leader, all in the span of a couple hours. In all of this, it’s natural to lose sight of ourselves. And when we do, we start to morph into our surroundings and the people we spend the most time with. It doesn’t mean anything is wrong, but it is helpful to check in from time to time and make a conscious decision on whether we are okay with where we are. If we don’t, we might wake up one day and find out that we are someplace we didn’t intend to go. The good news is, each day presents an opportunity to pull ourselves back to who and what we want to be.
This has happened to me. I got so caught up in work, that I lost the energy to care enough about what I wanted and my own standards. I worked very closely with several people who were living in fear for their jobs or how they were perceived, and I allowed their insecurities to make their way into my head. I started questioning my own value and knowledge. I stopped managing my mind around what was true and found myself as deep in the insecurity pool as those around me.
In order to avoid this happening, it’s helpful to understand why it’s so important to have a clear picture of who you are and why you should keep grounding yourself in that. First, we are surrounded by the insecurities and thoughts generated by the minds of everyone around us. That’s simply part of the human experience. But if we aren’t clear on who we are at our core and what we believe fundamentally, the beliefs of others will start to have an unconscious impact on us. Knowing who we are, allows us to stand firm in those moments, knowing what is truth vs. what isn’t instead of adopting what is repeated around us.
Second, knowing our truth gives us an anchor on which to evaluate decisions and options. When your mind is all over the place, many options will present themselves and no decisions seem to be the “right” one. When your mind is clear on who you are and what you believe, decisions take much less energy and tend to be easier to come by. By being intentional and ensuring that your decisions match where you want to be, you not only engage your intelligent brain and make better decisions, you reduce all of the second guessing that would otherwise exist.
Third, you are less likely to stray from your values or put your personal integrity at risk. If you don’t really know where your boundaries are, it becomes much easier to make decisions that are at odds with your own personal values. Then, we find ourselves in a spot where we aren’t happy but we don’t really know why. Or we do things we regret and then beat ourselves up for it, which sends us into a cycle of despair.
If you are interested in getting help to figure out who your authentic self is, schedule your free consultation here. I work 1:1 with my clients to discover their standards and strengths, so they can leverage that as an anchor in work and in life.