Five Simple Tips for Better Performance Discussions

Even the most experienced managers can struggle with performance discussions.  While it seems logical that the delivery of bad news is the hardest, sometimes the best reviews are the tough ones because those employees not only have high expectations for themselves, they also have high expectations of their managers.  So how can you show up at your best?  Here are my top five tips for better performance discussions:

1. Take the time to prepare – It’s not about being perfect in your delivery, but showing up unprepared and scattered sends the message that you simply didn’t care enough to do your job.  Take the time to get clear on the main discussion points that you want to get across and make sure you recap them at the end, so they don’t get lost in the bigger conversation.  
2. Give the employee your full belief – Whether they achieved what they set out to do or didn’t achieve what they set out to do, go in with the mindset that you believe they are capable of success.  If our past was a sole predictor of future performance, none of us would be walking right now, because we didn’t walk before we did.  Give them the benefit of believing anything is possible for them, even when they don’t yet believe in themselves and even when they haven’t already proven it to be true.  
3. Be willing to accept the person the way they are – Don’t wish for them to change in order to make you feel better. You can have high expectations for their performance and even expectations for their behavior, but expecting them to be someone different is only going to leave you frustrated every single time.  People aren’t wired to be who we think they should be, they are simply amazing at being themselves.  
4. Don’t cloud the discussion or review with your own insecurities – Focus on their accomplishments and not personal characteristics.  If they accomplish their goals on time and at a level that exceeds expectations, but it bothers you because they are quiet, introspective or move at a slower pace, ask yourself why it matters?  If it comes down to you being worried about how it will reflect on you, you are clouding their performance review with your own insecurities.  
5. Be curious about how they view their performance and how they feel about work – Even poor performance reviews can turn into great discussions when both parties are actively engaged and great performance reviews with a shallow or one-sided discussion can also lose their impact.  People want to be seen and heard.  The more you can understand how they feel about their work, the struggles and obstacles they have faced, where your expectations and theirs differ and what they need in the coming year, the better manager you can be for them.